22 FEBRUARY 9 - FEBRUARY 15, 2018 BROOKLYN MEDIA GROUP
What are the secrets to a
long-lasting romantic relationship?
Every February 14, starry-eyed
couples celebrating Valentine’s
Day strive to find just the right
setting to create a romantic night on
the town.
But relationships are about more
than candle-light dinners and slow
dancing in the moonlight, and making
them last beyond the initial infatuation
is no easy thing.
“Under the best of circumstances
it takes much love, devotion and
especially an enduring commitment
between partners to make a relationship
work,” says academic D. Scott
Trettenero, author of Master the
Mystery of Human Nature: Resolving
the Conflict of Opposing Values (www.
masterthemysterybook.com).
“Unfortunately, there is no rule
book or instruction manual that
guarantees success.”
An obvious reason is that conflict
is inevitable because men and women
look at and approach their problems
from different perspectives.
“Men tend to use the left brain
point of view which is characterized
by thinking while women tend to be
more right brain and feeling by nature,”
Trettenero says. “Men generally
use logic and reason to make what
they consider objective choices and
decisions. Women generally use emotional
values to make more subjective
choices and decisions.
“It needs to be stated that one way
is not better than the other. But they
are opposing in nature and when each
side is entrenched in their conflicting
way there will always be a lack or
breakdown of communication,” he
adds. “This is the number one reason
that couples can have problems in
their relationships which can lead to
separation.
“One side may try to get the point
across using facts and deductive reasoning
while the other side is wanting
feelings to be acknowledged and understood.
It happens all the time in a
typical relationship.”
But despite the normal complications,
Trettenero says, it is really possible
to make things work and thrive.
Incredible life-changing benefits can
come from a healthy relationship and
this needs to be kept in mind during
times of misunderstandings and
conflict.
There are a few core concepts about
human nature that are necessary to
grasp as you try and seek harmony in
your relationship. These include:
• Feelings come and go. Feelings
can change over time, which means
if feelings you have for another led
you to fall in love, then other feelings
could just as easily lead you to fall
out of love if you aren’t careful. It is
important that the relationship not
be based on feelings alone, but on a
shared commitment to placing the
relationship above one’s own personal
desires.
• People change over the
years. People have the capacity to
grow and evolve in a number of
ways. This is a healthy process of life
but it doesn’t always work out that
each partner is growing at the same
pace or in the same direction. This
calls for both to be able to adapt and
embrace the changes each may make.
• Conflicts will always be present.
The whole system of human
interaction is perfectly created for
conflict, and any relationship will
never be immune to them. Conflicts
of interest within a relationship can
sometimes escalate into devastating
and traumatic experiences.
But it’s possible to rise above or
defuse these situations, Trettenero
says. It all begins with understanding
yourself so you can be true to who you
are. It also means that you make sure
that your significant other is true to
him or herself.
• With intention and commitment,
everything can be overcome. Conflict
resolution in a marriage is one of the
most important ways to make it or
break it. The best way to handle a
disagreement is to try to find a way
that allows both parties to feel good
about the results rather than try to
overpower the other.
Discuss each of your points of
view and be sure to listen to each
other while respecting each other's
opinions.
“Trying to give advice on how
to make a marriage work is tricky,
especially when speaking in general
terms, because what might work for
one couple might be exactly wrong
for another,” Trettenero says. “One
thing is clear to those who are married
and want to remain married;
communication between partners is
critical and deserves equal attention
by both.”
Valentine's
Day
Menu
From 4pm on
APPETIZERS (CHOICE OF ONE)
Shrimp Ajillo • Ghorizo (Spanish sausages) • Mushrooms Ajillo
Clams Cocktail • Calamares en su tinta (Squids ink sauce)
Shrimp Cocktail • Salpicon (Cold Seafood salad)
ENTREES (CHOICE OF ONE)
Paella Valenciana (Rice, chicken, sausage & seafood) - with Lobster add $10
Mariscada in Green Sauce - with Lobster add $10 • Shrimp Ajillo
Broiled Filet of Salmon • Tilapia with Rose Sauce
Veal Sanchos (Sautee with mushrooms and Madeira wine)
Chicken with Almond Sauce • Filet Mignon* • Broiled Lobster Tail*
Sirloin Steak* • Rack of Lamb*
*Add $10
All entitles are served with salad and vegetables or rice
DESSERTS (CHOICE OF ONE)
Chocolate mousse cake • Cheese cake • Flan • Ice cream
$50 per person + tax + tips $10 extra plate "Beverages and liquors are not Included"
WE ARE OPEN FROM 12 NOON ON...
7410 3rd Avenue (Bet. 74th & 75th Streets)
For reservations please call 718-748-0770
www.sanchosrestaurant.com
ALL MAJOR CREDIT CARDS ACCEPTED • VALET PARKING