Jones talks about being freest with his gay self
The Bahamas Hurricane Dorian Disaster
Fundraiser Concert canceled
Caribbean Life, Nov. 29-Dec. 5, 2019 43
By Terri Schlichenmeyer
You can’t pretend forever.
Eventually, the ruse gets
tired, holding up pretenses
becomes a burden, and keeping
the game going is harder than
telling the truth. You eventually
have to break it down and let
people know what you’re about.
But as in the new book “How
We Fight for Our Lives” by
Saeed Jones, take care before
telling everybody.
Saeed Jones was just 12
years old when his mother first
uttered the word “gay,” though
he never thought it would be
anything she’d ever say. Afterward,
the word was “vibrating
in the air between us” but
there’d be no conversation.
Jones knew even then that
the word described him. Fascinated
by men, he spent hours
clipping pictures of male models
from his mother’s fashion
magazines, and he furtively
read everything about gay men
and AIDS that he could find at
his local Texas library.
The library was also where
he had his first sexual encounter
with a stranger, at age 16.
That, too, was something
he’d never tell his mother but
he sensed she knew his truth:
some days, he’d find his clippings
in shreds, in a plastic bag
on the kitchen counter, and
he’d just start another collection.
There was no discussion
then, either.
By the time he graduated
from high school, Jones knew
that his life was not “twenty
minutes north of Dallas”
anymore. He envisioned himself
walking around Manhattan,
exploring the city, and he
aimed for college there but it
wasn’t financially possible.
Instead, he went to Bowling
Green, Kentucky, and he
thrived.
On his own for the first
time ever, Jones realized he
could be any Saeed Jones he
Book cover of “How We Fight for Our Lives” by Saeed
Jones.
wanted to be, but ultimately,
he was freest being his gay
self. Away from home, he made
friends, joined college groups,
drank too much, slept with
men he barely knew, and he
learned that “the words ‘gay’
and ‘alone’ weren’t synonyms
for each other.”
And then one night, he went
home with the wrong man…
On so many levels, “How
We Fight For Our Lives” is
a heartbreaking and beautiful
book.
The most unforgettable
parts lie where author Saeed
Jones writes about more than
just himself and his own
observations; a good portion
of his tale is his mother’s.
She recognized her son’s life
but she obviously struggled
with knowing-not-knowing
and there’s a sharp pain in
that, pain that leaps from the
pages.
The bulk of this story — the
part that seizes readers by the
shirtfront — is spent watching
Jones come to terms as he
comes of age. Seeing him grow
from self-absorbed young man
into self-confident adult is satisfying,
albeit cringe-worthy,
because you come to understand
what beats him back as
well as what makes his spirit
soar. Knowing all that happens
between the two is what’ll keep
you turning pages.
Be aware that this memoir
can be raw, in both language
and meaning, and there are
graphic bits inside. Still, the
power you’ll see in “How We
Fight for Our Lives” will make
you want to tell everybody.
“How We Fight for Our
Lives: A Memoir” by Saeed
Jones
c.2019, Simon & Schuster
$26.00 / $32.00
Canada 193 pages
‘How We Fight for Our Lives’ author Saeed Jones. Jon Premosch
The Bahamas Hurricane
Dorian Disaster Fundraiser
Concert scheduled for Dec. 1,
2019 at Resorts World Casino
NYC in Queens, New York
is officially cancelled by One
Caribbean NYC.
The decision to cancel the
fundraiser is primarily due to
a lack of ticket sales affected
by six large scale events that
directly impacted the marketing
to attract patrons.
Given the short time to
market, One Caribbean NYC
is very thankful and humbled
by the time & effort shown by
its committee, artistes, business
& entertainment professionals
who volunteered and
came together in such a short
time to support this humanitarian
effort.
One Caribbean NYC seeks
to continue supporting the
Bahamas Relief efforts by
partnering with scheduled
events occurring over the
Thanksgiving weekend where
at the promoter’s discretion
a portion of proceeds will
be donated towards relief
efforts.
One Caribbean NYC also
encourages everyone to support
the extended Caribbean
Day of Giving (CDoG) scheduled
for Tuesday, Dec. 3, 2019.
For more information, visit:
www.caribbeandayofgiving.
com/ #CaribbeanDayofGiving
Refunds
Note: All tickets purchased
online are 100 percent
refundable by Resorts World
Casino NYC. Thanks again to
all the patrons showing support
towards this humanitarian
effort.
The need in the Bahamas
is still great so let’s all continue
to support those efforts
in any way we can.
/www.caribbeandayofgiving
/www.caribbeandayofgiving