Forging a path for Black mothers
Celebrating Caribbean Christmas
traditions — parang, food & dance
Caribbean Life, DECEMBER 6-12, 2019 49
By Terri Schlichenmeyer
You got the whole package.
That’s what happens when you
choose a mate: you get another
set of parents, new siblings,
aunts and uncles and, of course,
any children your beloved might
have and any you might want
in the future. That’s the way we
build families today, the details
of which, says Nefertiti Austin in
“Motherhood So White,” depend
on the color of your skin.
As a child, Nefertiti Austin
basically had to raise herself: her
parents had drugs, alcohol, deals
to make and better things to do.
It was common, therefore, for
Austin and her brother to stay
with their grandparents; after
their father went to jail and their
mother quietly left California,
the stay became permanent.
Says Austin, raising a child
you’re somehow related to, or
taking in a kid whose family you
Book cover of “Motherhood So White” by Nefertiti Austin.
know is common in the Black
community. Adoption is not,
which is why she had to deflect
negative comments when she
announced her plans to adopt a
Black baby.
The process took time: Austin
attended classes to become
a certified foster mother first,
with the end goal of adoption.
She’d decided on the gender of
the child she wanted and was
offered the chance to foster
other boys; she declined, waiting
for the right baby.
Her son, August, arrived in
late summer, 2008.
Eager to be the best mother
possible, Austin scoured the local
library for books on mothering
for Black women, and found
nothing. Everything seemed
written by and for white women,
who didn’t have to tell their sons
about DWB, who didn’t have to
tolerate strangers that assumed
single motherhood and welfare
went hand-in-hand, and who
wouldn’t have to explain racism
to a preschooler. While “there
is nothing more universal than
a mother’s love for her child,”
Black mothers have different
issues to deal with.
And so, this book came inpart
from Austin’s frustration.
The most curious thing,
though, is that hers may become
a reader’s frustration, too.
As a memoir, this book is
very good: author Nefertiti Austin
writes about how she overcame
a life that nearly made her
a statistic, with the help of two
loving grandparents who raised
her as if they were her birth parents.
Austin goes on to tell why
she cast aside cultural norms in
order to forge the path she knew
was best for her, and to become
the mother she should have had
herself.
Again, it’s very good – but
it’s also of little help to a reader
who is looking for solid advice
on dealing with her own unique
journey to motherhood as a
woman of color. There’s so much
more that could have been in
this book, but wasn’t, and some
of it might have helped educate
those of whom Austin is critical.
Still, there’s a certain undeniable
comfort in her story, and
that could be valuable to the
right reader. For her only, add
“Motherhood So White” to the
scant list of parenting books
for women of color, and memoir
+ advice could make a good
package.
“Motherhood So White:
A Memoir of Race, Gender,
and parenting in America”
by Nefertiti Austin
c.2019, Sourcebooks
$25.99 / $36.99 Canada
304 pages
“Motherhood So White” author Nefertiti Austin.
Bobby Quillard
By Gerry Hopkin
In the spirit of preserving
and celebrating the traditions
of Caribbean-Americans in
New York City, the Cultural
Committee of St. Paul’s Church
in the Village of Flatbush in
Brooklyn, has invited the public
to their annual Dinner and
Dance — a Pre-Christmas
Parang & Soca Parang Night,
scheduled for Saturday, Dec. 7,
2019, 7 pm.
The event which includes a
dinner of traditional Caribbean
Christmas foods and beverages,
live Parang and Soca Parang,
as well as DJ music designed to
induce dancing, will feature the
popular group Las Reinas de la
Cancion and recording artiste
Cheryl Vincent. The Master of
Ceremony of the event will be
Community Organizer, Gerry
Hopkin of Afterwork Networking
Wednesdays in Brooklyn.
Parang is a popular genre
of seasonal (Christmas) folk
music found in most Caribbean
states, especially Trinidad
and Tobago. The tradition was
brought to Trinidad and Tobago
by Venezuelan and Colombian
migrants during and after the
period of colonization in the
West Indies. These migrants
were primarily of Amerindian,
Spanish, Mestizo, Pardo,
Cocoa Payol, and African heritage.
This mix of ethnicities is
strongly reflected in the music
itself. Over time, this genre of
music spread throughout the
Caribbean, and is especially
appreciated, played and sung
in Grenada, St. Vincent and
the Grenadines, Barbados and
Guyana.
Soca Parang, which is the
off-spring of Parang, is a crossover
genre of music that incorporates
Parang chord structures
and instruments with lyrics
sung in English, as opposed
to Spanish — the language of
original Parang.
The venue of the Dec. 7
Dinner Dance & Diversion —
Pre-Christmas Parang & Soca
Parang Night, is the St. Paul’s
Auditorium, located at 157 St.
Paul’s Place, corner of Church
Avenue.
Those interested in obtaining
tickets for this special event
of traditional Caribbean foods,
drinks, music and dance, in
advance, may call the St. Paul’s
Church Office at 718-282-2100;
Judith Lewis at 347-782-7921;
or Jemma Barker at 646-600-
1077.
Recording artist Cheryl Vincent.