“The Hot Young Widows
Club” by Nora McInerny
c.2019, TED Books
$16.99 / $22.99 Canada
95 pages
By Terri Schlichenmeyer
Sometimes, life stinks.
Bad things happen to great
people but truly horrible things
happen to you — things like
losing a loved one, and that’s
indescribable. Your emotions
feel like shuffled cards: you’re
foggy, sad, angry, exhausted,
and tired of dealing with it all.
So what do you do next? You
take a deep breath and read
“The Hot Young Widows Club”
by Nora McInerny.
Nora McInerny knows grief.
She shouldn’t have to, but she
does because her husband died
some time ago at age 35, just
before her father died, just
before she miscarried what
would have been her second
child. And if that sounds like
a lot, it is but she says not
to compare her situation to
yours. Loss is not a competition
because “who could possibly
win?”
If this is your first big loss,
welcome to a club you “had
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Caribbean L 32 ife, May 3–9, 2019
no intention of joining.” What
you may not realize yet is
that you’re in good company,
although dealing with your
loss is uniquely yours and there
are no rules or “right” ways to
grieve, no expiration date, and
there are no shoulds.
Although, maybe you should
think about finding someone
who’s been through this walk
of widowhood, too, so you can
scream into pillows together.
McInerny recommends a “support
group” of one or a dozen
but find them on your own
timeframe and do it in your
own way. Oh, and “stop saying
yes to the things you don’t
want to do.”
Remember that “you are not
a machine, and grief is not a
program you can run.” If you’ve
been through loss before, know
that “every… loss is different…”
Understand that people
can be awkward, they can
be dumb, and that not every
friendship will last beyond your
grief. Accept help by naming a
“Grief Manager” to coordinate
everyone who wants to help
do the “stuff you need done.”
Embrace these words: “Why
do you ask?” when faced with
nosiness. And finally, remember
that “Time can change you,
and it will. But it can’t change
the departed, and it won’t.”
When you head to the store
to buy your copy of “The Hot
Young Widow’s Club,” be sure
to pick up a package of sticky
paper flags. You’ll use them up
on every page of this helpful,
hopeful book.
Truly, this is unlike any coping
with loss book you’ve ever
seen; first, because author Nora
McInerny ignores euphemisms.
There’s no candy-coating death
and no hiding what happened,
so she uses the “D” word with
honesty and gusto. She also
uses humor, too, although it’s
not the ROFL kind; instead, it’s
humor of the sort that survivors
use at the end of a crisis.
And that, as she shows readers,
is what you’ll be: a survivor,
even though you’ll still cry
sometimes.
This is not a book for raw
widows or widowers, but they’ll
want it eventually; it’s a little
irreverent, but it’s just what
they’ll need, in time. Indeed,
life sometimes stinks — but
“The Hot Young Widows Club”
absolutely does not.
Book cover of “The Hot Young Widows Club” by Nora McInery.
Surviving a crisis with humor
For Mother’s Day, give your Mom, yourself, and the
women you love the greatest gift possible.
Queens Cancer Center invites you to embrace life this
Mother’s Day with a free mammogram. On Friday, May
17 from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. all women and all moms are
welcome to receive a free mammogram at NYC Health
+ Hospitals/Queens, 82-68 164th Street in Jamaica, on
Imaging Desk).
Take advantage of having a premier state-of-the-art
cancer center right in the heart of Queens housed with
top-of-the-line equipment, and led by world-renowned
surgical oncologist Dr. Margaret Kemeny.
Our Queens Cancer Center is nationally recognized and
has received the highest accreditation for outstanding
clinical services from the American College of Surgeons.
Patients can also schedule an appointment throughout
the month of May to have a mammogram performed at
no cost, and will receive life-saving information about
the importance of breast imaging and how to perform
breast self-examinations.
For information or to schedule an appointment please
call Please use 718-883-4031.
Looking to get health insurance? Call MetroPlus Health Plan at 1-855-809-4073 (TTY: 711)
or visit www.metroplus.org to learn if you qualify for NY State of Health Marketplace plan.
This Mother’s Day, and every day in May, celebrate life!
/www.metroplus.org
/www.metroplus.org