FOR BREAKING NEWS VISIT WWW.QNS.COM JANUARY 19, 2017 • BRIDAL • THE QUEENS COURIER 15
bridal
Making your wedding guest list
doesn’t have to be a headache
BY CHELLE CORDERO
It’s no secret that planning
a wedding is stressful. Oft en,
it seems that no matter how
hard you try, you’re bound to
disappoint someone. One of
the major hurdles all couples
encounter -- unless they elope to
Bora Bora in the dark hours of
the night -- is the guest list.
While it’s a common opinion
that whoever is footing the bill
for the wedding should have the
fi nal say on the guest list, it is the
bridal couple’s special day, and
their desires should be respected.
Whether their dream wedding
is an intimate beachfront
ceremony or a lavish botanical
bash, ideally each partner should
construct half the guest list.
Unfortunately, an equal split is
not always the ideal solution.
Nowadays many people are
getting married at an older age.
Th ey’re more established in life
and oft entimes can aff ord to
pay for some or all of the wedding
costs, meaning that they
won’t feel pressured to please
and compromise with those
who would be funding the wedding.
However, as we all know,
no family is perfect. Maybe
you’re footing the bill, but your
father wants to invite his clients
because “it’s good for business.”
Or maybe you come from
a big family (“My Big Fat Greek
Wedding,” anyone?), and Mom
says you can’t possibly invite 23
of your 31 fi rst cousins -- save
your second and third cousins.
Perhaps there’s that rambunctious
relative who will make
everyone’s lives, well, miserable,
if she’s not invited -- well, she
will regardless. Th ere’s a lot to
consider, but couples must prioritize
their own happiness and
enjoyment for the big day.
So where do you start?
Start with your budget. How
much can you (and are you willing
to) spend on your nuptials?
Figure out what the average cost
per person would be, and then
adjust the number of guests.
Obviously, the size and cost of
the venue will partially dictate
the number of guests. Check the
cost and capacity of your favorite
venues, from halls to restaurants
to botanical gardens to a
friend’s backyard. Th en, factor
in the peripherals: invitations,
chair and table rentals, food and
alcohol (for the rehearsal dinner
and reception), favors, etc. And
don’t forget the wedding party!
You may buy special gift s for
each member.
Add all these expenses up, and
subtract the total from your total
budget. Take an extra 10 percent
off the balance (to cover unexpected
expenses), and divide the
rest by the per-person average.
Now you have a reasonable idea
if your wedding guest list will
include 50 or 300.
Once you have your number
it’s time to decide who goes on
the list. Make list A of the must
haves: your immediate family,
closest friends, grandparents,
aunts and uncles who have been
there for you through the years,
family friends who you consider
aunts and uncles and maybe
your boss. Next, make list B,
including more distant relatives
you’ve exchanged holiday cards
with, perhaps a few co-workers,
neighbors you grew up with and
your parents’ closest business
associates and friends.
When possible try to use the
same measure across the board.
For example, don’t say kids
aren’t allowed but then invite
your 7-year-old cousin. If your
parents are contributing to the
wedding, let them assign some
of the seats (maybe a third or
fourth). Be sure to only send
save-the-date cards to those on
list A so you don’t have to disinvite
anyone from list B once the
actual invitations go out.
Chances are you and your
spouse-to-be won’t have exactly
the same amount of guests.
If you don’t need your entire
share, use the unused seats for
mutual friends. Compare your
lists to eliminate any duplicates.
Send out your fi nal A-list
invites a little bit early so if
some of them decline you can
send invites to those on list B,
but they won’t feel like an aft erthought.
Remember, this is your day.
Most importantly, avoid drama.
Only invite people who mean
a lot to you and will contribute
to your happiness on your special
day. If you are feeling guilty
about all those who weren’t
invited, throw an informal backyard
barbecue get-together aft er
the honeymoon. Enjoy making
memories with your loved ones.
Show appreciation
for those who
made it all possible
BY SHARON NAYLOR
In addition to giving your
bridal party members their
own thank-you gift s, you’ll
wish to thank your parents for
all of their help with the wedding
plans (whether or not
they’re paying for the wedding)
as well as for a lifetime of their
love and support. In years past,
wedding couples oft en decided
that a professionally framed
portrait from the wedding day
was a fi ne way to show appreciation.
Today, though you may
certainly give them a framed
portrait for their home, an
additional special gift is presented,
oft en at the rehearsal
dinner.
According to Shane
McMurray, president of the
wedding industry survey
and trends site Th e Wedding
Report, the average amount
spent nationally on gift s for parents
was $120 in 2015. And that
average is projected to increase
to $121 in 2017, $138 in 2018
and $145 in 2019. Clearly, it’s
a trend among wedding couples
to thank their parents well,
with a gift that impresses or
touches the heartstrings. Here
are some stellar ideas:
--Entertaining items. If parents
love to entertain in their
home, your gift of a beautiful
wine bucket or a set of outdoor
dining plates and platters can
enhance their lifestyle, impress
their guests and inspire them
to host more parties for friends
and family.
--A handwritten letter or
poem. Your words of gratitude
will mean the world to
your parents, so a handwritten
letter or poem straight
from your heart will be a treasure.
Take your time and compose
a heartfelt message, perhaps
list the most important
things your parents have taught
you that prepare you well for
the life ahead of you, and then
re-write your fi nal draft on
quality paper that your parent
will keep forever.
--Home improvements.
Th ank your parents for making
your world so beautiful by
helping to make their world
more beautiful. If your mother
has always wanted to have
a fl ourishing rose garden or a
bountiful herb and vegetable
garden, hire a garden planner
and team to make her design
come to life. If your dad has
wanted to put in a new mailbox
or fi x the pergola above the
backyard terrace, hire a professional
to take care of the task.
--Show tickets. Treat your
parents to a pair of tickets to
a show they’ve been dying to
see. Add in dinner prior to the
show, and their night will be
unforgettable, thanks to you.
Whatever the thank-you gift ,
remember that presentation is
key. Find a wonderful way to
present those show tickets or
gift cards, and always add a
handwritten note from the two
of you.