When telling a loved one about their
Alzheimer’s diagnosis, be sensitive
to their feelings and emotional state,
as well as their ability to remember,
reason, and make decisions.
How to break the news about Alzheimer’s
COURIER LIFE, J M B G AN. 18–24, 2019 49
Wellness
The doctor has just confirmed
your worst fear. Your mother
has Alzheimer’s. While the
sense of shock is stinging, you knew
something was wrong. She had become
forgetful. You found her shoe
in the freezer and five cartons of
milk in the kitchen cabinet. She
calls the toaster the “bread-heater.”
She fluctuates from being combative
and apathetic. And, her driving
has become erratic.
This is a very stressful and emotional
situation, so how do you tell
a family member that her world
is changing and will never be the
same? The answer is simple: armed
with knowledge, sensitivity, and
compassion. Keep the following in
mind when deciding how to handle
the news.
Whether it’s your mom, husband,
life partner or friend, respect the
person’s right to know. Be sensitive
to their feelings and emotional state,
as well as their ability to remember,
reason, and make decisions. Be
aware that they may already suspect
that something is wrong. If you
discuss the problem openly, the individual
may feel relieved to learn
that they have a physical illness
and are not “going crazy.”
Telling them early while they are
still able to reason, may also allow
them to participate in important
and very personal medical, legal,
financial, and end-of-life decisions.
This can save you and your family
from unnecessary anguish and uncertainty,
later, when it comes to
figuring out what they would want
for themselves.
Consider hosting a “family conference”
to break the news. Build
a supportive environment by inviting
other trusted family members,
a friend, a social worker, and a physician
who has experience working
with cognitively impaired individuals.
Your family member may not be
able to understand the entire diagnosis
or may even deny your explanation.
If so, it’s probably best to
accept their reaction and avoid further
detailed explanations.
Reassure them that you’ll be
there to provide support and help
them adjust. When it feels right, give
them follow-up information. You
may say, “Because of your memory
and other problems, you may have
to let people help you more than you
have in the past.” You don’t have
to use the phrase “Alzheimer’s disease”
if you think it might be upsetting.
As the disease progresses, remain
open to their need to talk about
their illness. They may ask you
about working, driving, or managing
finances. Also, be aware of verbal
and nonverbal signs of sadness,
anger, or anxiety, and respond with
compassion and reassurance.
As a caregiver, you, too, will need
support to manage your new role.
In addition to a wide array of free
support groups and social-work services,
CaringKind offers workshops
that help you understand the basics
of Alzheimer’s and dementia. Help
with legal and financial planning,
and long-term care options is also
available. Many of our services are
offered in Spanish and Chinese.
At CaringKind, our team of dedicated
Alzheimer’s professionals are
here 24 hours a day, seven days a
week to help both you and the person
you care for every step along
the progression of the disease. Call
us anytime on our 24-hour helpline:
(646) 744–2900 or visit our website at
caringkindnyc.org. No one should
ever have to deal with a dementia
diagnosis alone.
Jed A. Levine is the President
and CEO at Caring Kind.
Care
Chronicle
Jed Levine
/caringkindnyc.org